Why are we so critical and judgmental of others? I’m curious about our ‘authority’ to judge others. Where does this come from? When I was younger a popular saying was, “Who died and made you the king of everything?”
Is there a lack of fulfillment in our own paths that cause us to project the anger from what is missing in our lives on to others? Does our authority to judge others come from the ‘right’ to speak freely? Is that where we believe we have the audacity to speak our mind and if others don’t like it, too bad?
Which do you do more of: criticizing others or praying for others? This is not a question to condemn but to check ourselves. Get better!
👄Be a better YOU instead of judging others.
👄Find you a book to read instead of gossiping about your neighbors or coworkers.
👄Build yourself a better foundation and in that bind your tongue and thoughts from ridiculing other people.
👄Be concerned with you and yourself and your actions. You are not a ‘bigger’ person by making someone else feel small!
“Nothing exposes character more than the way you treat people you don’t think you need.”
~ Pastor John Gray
#DoYOUboo #Inspiration #StopBullying #success #BeBetter #BeLeadersOfMen #StandUp #Encourage #BeCarefulHowYouTreatOthers Gossip
In Your Waiting, Take a Moment for Yourself!It is in the waiting that we sometimes miss our chance at challenge. The opportunity to be more patient, rise to an occasion, be more helpful, take more leisure. It is in the waiting where we are to gain momentum or relish in the silence and will the stamina to get more strength and resilience.What DO you do in the waiting?Are you pressed? Do you press or stress others?Stress adds an extra element of pressure that mounds up and explodes like a volcano. This is not pressure that benefits you in any way, in fact, undue stress and pressure cause more harm.What CAN you do in the waiting?⏳Practice patience by taking deep cleansing breaths and putting things into perspective. Oftentimes it’s not as bad as it seems. Your rush is not everyone else’s hurry and so it may be hard for them to respond as you expect them to.⏳Read a book or newspaper: getting more knowledge while you wait will take your mind off the extra time or how slow everything is moving.⏳Write. This is a good time to pen a short letter to a friend or family member and since handwriting letters is a dying art, the person will surely be surprised to receive the special piece in the mail.⏳Use stretches as a way of elongating your body appendages and through each of those stretches release any stressors or worries and help relax your mind which will, in turn, relax your body.⏳Be empathetic. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to emphasize with them. Maybe their day has been just as hectic as yours and they are just as busy as you are. If we practice having a bit more empathy and compassion then we will receive it as well, making our processes and dealings with others when we are having to wait a little more pleasant.Children are taught to line up and wait their turns. As adults, we have lost touch with how to be patient and go along with a process. If we aren’t a part of the process we can find it silly or ridiculous, encountering frustration. It’s oftentimes because we don’t deal with it – the circumstance – every day and do not understand it as well; therefore, it’s best to arrive early whenever we can, get prepared and go with the flow.Have you ever had to wait longer than a week or a month for a prolonged period of time? Maybe years? Nothing will test your will or patience greater than one of these types of waits. It will test who you are and reveal things about yourself that you may not have known. The good news is in that time, while you wait, as you discover these newfound characteristics, you can challenge yourself to be better in those areas. After all, a better you is an excellent thing to work for while waiting.
Looks Amazing Kwamara! Thanks for the invite! ;)
Sure you may feel powerful behind your profile but does your personality have potential? 🤔
Social media tends to give some people an incentive to embellish who they are. This facade of grandeur that if I ‘fake it til I make it’ I can become overnight what others have worked years to achieve. I can become a CEO just by saying that I am one on #LinkedIn?!? 😵
There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be something and having a dream to become anything you want to be, however, being shady about it online makes you less than reputable. Be proud of who you really are and start right where you are!
Lying about who you are only sets you back; instead, look for ways to raise yourself up!
Be brave enough to be the real, true you!
#WhoAreYouReally #Motivation #Reality #socialnetworking #socialmedia #personaldevelopment #happiness #wellness #technology#branding #growth #OnlineImposters #FakeProfiles #TheTitleItselfIsPowerless
Often we feel trapped in situations when we\’re not. The available options may not be the desired ones that we like, but they ARE options.
It does not sound logical to stay in a job you are miserable in just for the sake of earning a paycheck, yet I\’ve worked with people who do it everyday.
I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves without even realizing it. Learn to treat yourself well. Know what your \’happy\’ is. Know your worth. Know you are valuable. When you know these internal levels, all of your senses will alert you when something is out of balance.
Stay within budget, stay in your lane, practice self-care and positivity and keep everything in perspective.
We all get stuck from time to time in one thing or another, but there is no reason to stay there!
#Twenty20 #Motivation #network #inspiration #jobseekers #leaders #linkedin #newyear #DoNotStayStuck
Do you have an inner monster that peaks its ugly head every now and then? I had a student tell me once, \”Let me just rage and get it over with, I\’ll be fine!\” But is it fine? Is it ok to just \’rage\’ and lash out at other people regardless of the circumstance or consequences and retreat back to normal as if all is well?
IN THE SCHOOL
My concern with this type of behavior is, left unchecked or unreckoned or uncontrolled, it will only (or stands the risk of) end up manifesting itself or evolving into more. It only grows and feeds off that feeling of release.
As a teacher, I would not tolerate a student coming into the classroom to rage or vent their frustration. It crosses a line over which I am not trained and poses a risk to other students\’ well-being. I see now where some schools are allowing a tantrum room as a place for students to go when they are having a bad day or cannot seem to control their emotions. Students can enter this room, throw things around, hit, punch, destroy, etc until they feel better without the risk of hurting other students or faculty.
I\’m all for getting in touch with your emotions but I\’m going to have to christen this ship with a bottle of \’Obviously, you have lost your mind!\’ I have several red flags that immediately come to mind: what happens when the student doesn\’t WANT to use the tantrum room? What if it is YOU he/she decides to \’rage\’ on because the tantrum room doesn\’t please his fit-throwing abilities or needs at the time? What if the tantrum room is occupied with other fit throwers? What if a student is severely injured in the tantrum room? What if rage cannot wait until tantrum room becomes available? Albeit \’what if\’ scenarios, there are far too many MORE risks added on top of the intial risks, making things WAY worse than they need to be.
I see FAR too many parents who fail to establish a relationship with their child or children and then want the school system to be accountable for their behavior. Um, no! Start wise discussion and consequences at home and stop being led around by your cute little ones (regardless of age) who have no sense of direction or guidance yet! It\’s not about control, it\’s about a relationship!! Love, care and compassion! Therefore, conversation, consequences and positive reinforcement! You cannot wait and expect to implement these tools at 16 when they\’re out the door and long for a chance to get away from you!
IN THE WORKPLACE
I know there are some employees or workers that are simply passionate people and love what they do! They are so invested that it is hard to separate the person they are from the job they do. This person is always at work involved in the goings-on and having discussions with different people from different departments and as far as you can tell, he\’s not THE guy but he\’s not too far from the guy; and he\’s passionate! About everything!
You can tell it in the roar and volume of his voice, to the way he points his finger at people when he\’s spirited, right down to the wavy flow of saliva strings that fly from his mouth when he is standing over someone. Alright, it\’s a little over blown, but you may know this guy too, he\’s about to rage and throw something! He needs to either be sent to time out for the number of minutes that match his age or it\’s time for a trip to the tantrum closet.
Me? I\’m about to grab my $6 latte, slink down under the table and low crawl to the nearest exit to go see if anybody has some chocolate on their desk. This is what I call my welfare check. I get to go give a smile to other people and tell them they look nice or to have a good day. It makes me feel better and certainly boosts my mood. And if I\’m ever in \’beast-mode\’ (very seldom) then the focus on someone else, if even for two minutes, will usually break the tension.
We have gotten too accustomed to \’that\’s how so-and-so is, she\’ll snap in a heartbeat\’ or \’avoid this person altogether, she has an attitude problem\’. Stop accepting the cliche excuses and refer them to get some help because if everything were \”fine\” they wouldn\’t behave so irrationally and all of the other workers would have no need to \’just AVOID\’ this person.
Children that are not taught and expected to utilize good coping skills turn into adults that cannot control their emotions or cope well in situations that they cannot or do not get to control. Checkout lines, movie theaters, traffic on the freeway… listen rage is not like a Visa card. You do not have to take it everywhere you go. In fact, get rid of it and save yourself some major problems down the road.
Discover what rage is for your child. Discover what rage is for you!
Deal directly and honestly with those emotions and communicate them in a manner that is acceptable. Then learn how to deal with your rage that stems from anger, fear, lack of control, negativity, stress, etc. Go get help and deal with that. You are not alone! We feel it too from time to time, only we are not at work trying to hack a coworker\’s head off with a laptop! See the difference?
Do you always get out of something exactly what you put into it? Everyone knows the answer to that is NO! Especially if you have ever put money into a coin-operated machine of any kind. What about when you deposit money into your savings account though? Doesn\\\’t it grow and give you more than what you put in? Doesn\\\’t the malfunctioning machine sometimes give you double the bag of Fritos? There are going to be those times in life – whether in work, family or leisure- that you will invest a good amount of time and not get a thing in return. You will put your whole heart\\\’s effort in and not get so much as a \\\’thank you\\\’ back. You will stay up and sweat to watch it through to the end and not even get a measly high five. Take heart! You are not alone and this is completely normal! The truth is the benefits of investments manifest in a myriad of ways, sometimes tangible and sometimes not. It is the intangible that we seem to lose sight of and forget to factor, specifically since it cannot be seen – only realized. Just Show Up Anyway!
I know this because it\\\’s the nature of my work. I know this because I\\\’ve proverbially run with some pretty big dogs and crossed the finish line behind them and have witnessed them grinding their teeth in the sand, snot and sweat dripping… they were THIS close! Close enough to smell it, taste it… but ole victory escaped them that day. I remember thinking once, \\\’Why does this mean defeat for them? They gave 100% effort and ran a phenomenal race! Should I be upset like that because I didn\\\’t get the promotion? Why am I not destroyed that the company decided to scrap my project? I hurt, but I\\\’m not disappointed in myself for not \\\’winning\\\’. My spirit shows some sorrow for their anguish but it also reminds me that I, too, capped the top of the same mountain, just at a different pace and to rejoice! Next time I\\\’ll knock \\\’em dead. Invest in You!
I learned a long time ago that I don\\\’t have to be first to matter. \\\’I\\\’m going to still live and breathe as long as the good Lord gives me breath.\\\’ (I\\\’m paraphrasing my grandmother and echoing her words.) I have every day that God gives me to: become a little bit better, get a little bit faster, try a little harder, perfect my craft, be good at what I do and shine in my own time. I\\\’m not at all worried about running anyone else\\\’s race, just my own! I take moments and invest in a different part of ME. Realize that you can only be the best you that you can be in this very moment, but in the next hour or tomorrow or next month you could be unstoppable. Always keep going, even if you have to slow down and catch your breath. Any movement matters and once you feel confident, you can resume the pace. Expedience and hurry doesn\\\’t always get you there. Exceed YOUR limits!
I have always pushed past the limits of comfortability. Some call it \\\’stirring the pot\\\’ or \\\’going against the grain\\\’, but that\\\’s not it at all. Questions to seek understanding should not be viewed as resistance or ignorance. I need to be able to continue evolving and sometimes that is hard for other people to understand. It is simply who I am. The stamp of approval, the vote to go again and keep running this race comes from within me via my creator. I continue to get up and do what I do without needing a pat on the back because that is me. It has nothing at all to do with competing with anyone other than me! I was taught to work hard, believe in myself, never give up, and that God has the final say. With that, I continue to push with full force in every direction and area that I can. Overachiever? Nah… I go after things with my own standard in mind. It’s not really about anyone else. Do not be afraid to set your own standard and push your own limits and continue to challenge yourself. So what if you are the star of your own show? Who else are you doing this for? Believe to Achieve
Parents, teach your children to believe in themselves – ALL THE TIME! No matter the outcome! No matter the ROI. (You\\\’d be surprised how many students are always down on themselves or are uncomfortable with praise.) Winning isn\\\’t always the factor. A reward shouldn\\\’t always be the bribe. Participate. Show up! You may not get something tangible in return for what you put in but relish the process! (And there is always a process!) Run with your friends and be crazy! Sprint by yourself and smile the WHOLE time albeit the aches and pains! It doesn’t matter where you finish, just compete and complete. You need to do this for YOU! No one else. But all the while, believe! Sometimes what you gain is not necessarily in the place where you are going, but in glimpses along the way.
Many people use daily affirmations to keep motivated or propel themselves forward throughout the day. They work! Do not knock it until you try it and be consistent. Take a minute and say them. DAILY! Believe them and watch change start to happen. Listen, don\\\’t even be ridiculous with it and expect immediate returns! That extra 50 pounds needs more than a week\\\’s time to get gone so quit playing! Get Up! Rise and Climb
Do that thing that people say you\\\’re out of your doggone mind to even have thought of. Don\\\’t expect a trophy. Don\\\’t expect a reward. Don\\\’t expect people to love you and chant your name through the streets. Don\\\’t expect folks to love what you do and rally behind your ideas. Don\\\’t expect them to understand every move you make. Don\\\’t expect change not to hurt or to be comfortable. (That struck a nerve, huh?) In fact, do it just to do it and shock those who said \\\”It\\\’s never been done before\\\”, \\\”we don\\\’t do it that way here\\\”, \\\”you\\\’re going to piss the wrong people off\\\” or the all-time classic \\\”it\\\’s not in your job description\\\”. Do it anyway! Do it LOUD, be BOLD and DON\\\’T EXPECT A THING IN RETURN! Okay? Who likes to be told they can\\\’t do something!? You know what, most of the time NO ONE CARES! People are too busy doing them to be worried about you, so turn off the noise in your head and get after it! Do it! All on your own! Why? Why would anyone ever be that person? Waste their time doing things and getting nothing out of it? Well, because it’s not a waste of time if you’re learning and paying attention. Repeat after me, in-tan-gi-ble! You can\\\’t see it, but you\\\’ve grown and gained. Have an attitude of gratitude, accentuate the positive and take another look. Do A Self Check
You have education about things, for example the job you do, the people you work with and what they do for a living. You have education and you have experience but maybe your \\\’self\\\’ is lacking. Self needs help. Some examples: *You feel down or don\\\’t really want to be at work. *You can\\\’t stand for people to tell you \\\’no\\\’ and you get angry. *When you feel you aren\\\’t taken seriously you meltdown and go berzerk. *When the team does well, you have to ensure you get the credit for all \\\’you\\\’ve\\\’ done. This is an ego trip and makes you an ‘atta boy’ or ‘way to go girl’. It means you\\\’re seeking attention. I won\\\’t weigh in on whether or not this is a good or bad thing, but I will say that for me, it is hard to rationalize, reason with or understand adults who need attention that I am not equipped to give them. When you are feeling undervalued: *Refer to your affirmations and remind yourself that you are worthy! *Take some deep breaths to energize your aura and refresh your system *Drink water! Because water is a good cure for everything and it hydrates your brain and body, which can lead to a jumpstart in energy. *Remind yourself of your accomplishments! When people get busy with their blinders on, their focus on the task at hand can preoccupy them but it does not ever take away from who you are, so dispel the negative thinking. You know how it feels to be busy and overwhelmed, so try to cut others a break if they do not see things as you do. A self-check will remind you that you are loved and important even though others may be too busy to say it. I\\\’m saying it is ok NOT to get something in return because it will happen sometimes! If you stand around with your hand out long enough it just may fall off. A tangible \\\’thing\\\’ is not always received in return of an action that we do. Don\\\’t allow your self to limit what you are capable of getting accomplished just because you \\\’want something in return\\\’. What’s in it For Me?
I asked a student once to do me a favor to which the response was, \\\”what are you going to give me for it?\\\” This negative mindset can cause others to believe that you are unwilling to exert yourself and therefore the conclusion can be drawn that unless you receive a worthy thing, then you are not going to bother with the task as it will more than likely be a waste of your time. It\\\’s all about potential. If people don\\\’t see it in you (because of your lack of will and motivation and \\\’what do I get\\\’) they will move past you and on to someone else. Have an attitude of gratitude and be willing to go where others are simply too lazy to adventure! Sometimes what you gain is not necessarily in the place where you are going, but in glimpses along the way. How long will anything last if you don\\\’t pour into it, care about it or take care of it? Not long! Some things and people have a longer shelf-life loyalty value than others but still without proper care or maintenance most things will cease to function properly – to include attitude and mindset. People are the same way. YOU are the same way! Don\\\’t mistake, however, maintenance and care for reward and praise because it isn\\\’t always a guarantee. Learn to Love the Process
You don\\\’t always get out of things what you put into them and that is sometimes ok and just how it goes. Just like some days it rains and some days it doesn\\\’t. Some days things flow well and some days not so much. There will be people who read this that can make the connection and others who will scrunch up their faces and say, \\\”WHAT? What is this even about?\\\” And you know what, the message isn\\\’t for them or on their level at this time. It\\\’s ok. We let ourselves down in a sense when always looking for the kudos and payoff or \\\’what do I get out of it\\\’. Sometimes there isn\\\’t any \\\’thing\\\’ there or the reap is intrinsic. Walk away with a lesson, derive from it a sense of accomplishment or completion, even the satisfaction of knowing you have done some good in some way. Be well with doing a good thing, a simple thing, a modest thing and moving on. Sometimes there is no return on the amount of time you\\\’ve spent investing, preaching, teaching, begging, cleaning but you know what you do have is equity and strength in ways that others don\\\’t just by enduring and learning from or loving the process.
It\’s FALL! Be Renewed!!
Sometimes you may have to change your ENTIRE environment.
Change your job.
Change your number.
Change your friends.
Change your address.
Change your hangouts.
Change your habits.
I mean disassemble and throw away everything and everyone you thought you knew or were familiar with. Get out of that cocoon, shed your skin, emerge unrecognizable.
You thought you were outcast or hated before. Discounted, pushed aside and snubbed or overlooked. Misunderstood, talked about, disrespected.
When you raise up out of THESE ashes… jaws will drop and fall off. They will want to rise with you. They will want to roll back the Gatlin of words they let loose about you but all they can do is fall to their knees as you smile and cut that chain of bondage.
It\’s Fall y\’all! Nature will begin to emerge its beautiful, robust colors and I believe that people can do the same. Remain who you are but shed some unwanted, unfruitful leaves. Gain a new perspective, work harder on being receptive or understanding. Try a new toothpaste or hair color! Make something \”new\” about you and enjoy the transformation.
#HelloFall #Inspiration #WelcomeChange #LiveYourFreeLife #Emerge #BeMadeOver #StartAgain #TurnYourLeaves #Rise #BeTheBestYou #SelfImprovement
For those who just cannot ‘see’ on your level – try to have patience with them and pray for them.
To them, you are:
“out there, too risky, controversial, chasing dreams, being dramatic, not good enough complicated, overqualified, too quiet, not pretty, a little on the curvy side, full of yourself, high strung, always sensitive, not authentic enough, rude and stuck up, the bossman’s favorite…”
Your value is undefinable by any person who walks this earth. Be careful of the messages that you receive and feed yourself. If something is unacceptable, then find your voice and declare it absurd! Reject it!
Who you are and whatever you choose to do – OWN IT!
Self-doubt or hating yourself because #others don’t approve of you IS NOT OKAY!! There is more to #YOU than other people’s #opinions.
Be #UNAPOLOGETICALLY your #BestSelf!! Teach this, preach this to everyone you know!
Let’s build one another up instead of berating and being critical. Leave your ‘judgy britches’ at home! Love everyone!
#happiness #authentic #youare #everything #climbyourmountain
#mindfulness #life #value #motivation #inspiration #mindset #goals #self #love #whoareyou
@dano Hi Dan! Thanks for connecting with me!
Have a great day!
@katja-gersak Hey Katja! Thanks for connecting with me here on SPN! ;)
Great advice! You don\’t want to be forced into a situation that you cannot get out of. As tough as it is sometimes it\’s often best to pray and wait it out!
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you saying so. I had to learn that not everyone will \’get me\’. They won\’t always agree with where I\’m coming from. But instead of me feeling as though I\’m not worthy of their time or as if I couldn\’t measure up, I had to believe in myself and learn to make moves on my own without looking for validation in places that I would never receive it. I had to learn to be confident in me, even if everyone else in the world was not and I had to teach myself that standing my ground wasn\’t as lonely as I thought it was. People do it everyday.